One morning, I realized that it might be helpful to compare insights from my old diary entries with my current experiences. A common thread emerged: my inner conflict, which stemmed from my longing for connection with my dysfunctional family and my desire for creative freedom. Unable to recognize earlier that I had a narcissistic father, I sought his love and approval. That could not succeed. Only by learning to accept myself with all my faults and strengths and freeing myself from self-deception could I love myself and see my failure as an opportunity. "Remember to live! Dare to be happy!" (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)