On April 23, 1991, Gerald Ratner was the CEO of the world's most successful jewelry chain. He was the golden boy of British business, turning a small family firm into a billion-pound empire. Then, he stood up at a corporate conference and made a joke. When asked how he sold a sherry decanter for such a low price, he replied: "Because it's total crap." He went on to say his earrings were cheaper than a prawn sandwich but wouldn't last as long. "The Crap Speech" analyzes the most expensive joke in corporate history. Overnight, the value of the Ratners Group plummeted by £500 million. Customers felt mocked, shops were boycotted, and "Doing a Ratner" became a phrase for self-inflicted business suicide. This book is a case study on the fragility of brand reputation and the danger of hubris. It explores the fine line between authentic humor and insulting your customer base. It follows Ratner's painful journey from tycoon to pariah, his decades in the wilderness, and his eventual redemption as an entrepreneur who learned the hard way that honesty isn't always the best policy—at least not when you are selling illusions.